What Ferrets have Taught me about Self-Acceptance

We purchased Slinky, a female white and brown ferret, from a well-known pet store franchise. My family and I fell in love instantly. This spunky girl was a bundle of energy and playfulness. She was always on the go and getting into everything. We likened her to the perfect pet for Kaleo, my young teenage boy who was also always on the go and managing to find trouble at every corner. I told Kaleo, “Now you can see what it is like to keep that little one safe and out of trouble”.

Slinky was such a joy that the family began contemplating another ferret as a companion for her. We enjoyed the antics of one; two seemed like a no-brainer. We also hoped that if Slinky had a companion to play with, that would keep her busy, and she would stop looking for trouble elsewhere.

Iz, my older son at 19, decided to buy the second ferret, so we went to the pet store. There, we found Noir, a black and brown ferret with a little brown spot on her nose. We quickly scooped her up and brought her home.

Noir was quieter and less on the go than Slinky.

We finally understood how the ferrets could pose and sit still in those videos we had been watching on YouTube. It had been an enigma for us all up until that point. Slinky could not sit still even for a second. With the addition of Noir, it all became clear. This laid-back critter was in no rush to do anything. She was totally chill!

We were surprised that Noir was twice the size of Sinky but was three weeks younger.  I don’t know much about ferrets, but it seemed that either Slinky was underweight or Noir was overweight. That much was clear.

We took both ferrets for their exams and vaccinations at the exotic animal veterinarian. I was a little worried about this appointment. What would the vet say about the weight difference?

We were told we could leave them at the vet for these vaccinations because it would take a while. It is common for ferrets to sometimes react badly to them and then need additional monitoring. So Iz and I went to find a place to eat while we waited.

Vaccinations and exams were completed, and the vet called to tell me the news. Noir, the poor thing, could have fared better with her vaccinations and needed the extra monitoring and medication until she felt better.  Slinky was as fine as ever.

The vet continued to update me on each ferret regarding their physical examinations. Slinky, got a clean bill of health. She was also ‘perfect’ in weight and everything else.

Ok, here it comes, I thought; if Slinky is the ideal, what will she say about Noir’s plump little body? The vet then continued.  Noir is also ‘perfect’ regarding health and weight, minus the vaccine issue.

I didn’t say anything but was surprised. How could one be perfect in terms of expected weight and size for her age and the other, three weeks younger and twice the weight, also be perfect for her size and age?

So, they are both ‘normal’ or even ‘perfect’ to use the Vet’s words.

Through the weeks, we continued playing and caring for our ferrets. Slinky was, as usual, all over the place and into everything. Noir also had her moments but was the first to say, “Hey, that’s enough for now. Why don’t we curl up here and nap in this warm little spot?” And she would.  

 In the mornings when I would go to their cage to get them out, Slinky would wake up right away. She’d hopped to the cage door, waiting impatiently to get out. Noir would raise her head sleepily from her place in the shared hammock, yawn, open her eyes, and gaze at me as if to say, “Oh hey, hello, human.”

Slinky impatiently jumping up and down and, if given a voice, would be saying, “Let me out!” “Let me out,” “Let me out.” Noir barely moving, takes her time to stretch and adjust to being awake. She remindes me of her father, Iz, my eldest, who also moves in slow motion.

Regarding food. Slinky eats quickly and in gulps, in between long periods of play. For Noir, eating is her priority. She plays but for short periods and then finds a comfy place to crawl up and fall asleep.

While Slinky ferrets away toys and contraband, Noir eats and then ferrets away food.  How similar they are to their fathers. Iz is a foodie and spends his money mostly on food. Kaleo can’t save a cent, and the minute he gets money, he buys something whether he needs it or not.

As time passes, we have noticed that Noir has gained even more on Slinky. She is probably three Slinkys now. She is happy and content and as chilled as can be. She has her moments of play and rascality. But her personality is one of Zen. Slinky is one of mischief.

I watched these two critters and their personalities.

So different and yet perfect, just the way they are.

Why can’t we do that, as a society, see our differences as normal, rather than judge each other or worse ourselves? Why do we strive to be perfect? And what is perfect anyway? And who gets to decide that? Why can’t we relax in our uniqueness?

Yes, of course, there is a health component but we as a society have gone way beyond that; when one thinks of Botox (when used for purely cosmetic reasons) and plastic surgery, liposuction and cool sculpting, and eyelash extensions, and lip plumpers. Where is the health in all those things!!  I write this with glittered nails in dip powder. I am not saying that all these things are bad.  Not at all.

What I am saying is, it is too bad that through ads our sense of beauty is hijacked.

 Stereotypes of what is perfect are transmitted to us constantly.  We come to believe what is beautiful from images that are fed to us by people making a profit off of us.

In doing so, we forget to look within and see the God-given gifts of uniqueness we all possess. We are so fixated on the next new thing to bring us closer to perfection that we lose the ability to be introspective. We miss opportunities to appreciate our selves. We miss the connections between us, the divine, and nature. We miss the true meaning of what it is to be human and discover the purpose of our own lives. Only by finding and accepting the beauty of our uniqueness can we discover those gifts, unique to us and our special place in the world.

I am no ferret expert, but it does not seem that Slinky and Noir spend much time worrying about their self-worth or suffer from low self-esteem. They both seem perfectly comfortable and happy, being uniquely who they are.